I was inspired by Tina Fey’s hilarious and touching “A Mother’s Prayer for her Daughter” (see http://www.parents.com/blogs/goodyblog/2011/05/tina-feys-a-mothers-prayer-for-her-daughter )

I wanted to do my own prayer for my child while I acknowledge that Ms. Fey did it first, but I wanted to do it for my son.

So if you have a son, or are a parent, or are someone’s son, or have the pleasure of knowing my little Honey Badger boy and my family, (or are a fan of Tina Fey) I invite you to read on…

First of all, Lord: No facial piercings. May neither brow hoop nor lip ring nor cheek stud break the skin of his sweet, tender face.

May he be Humble but not Lacking in Confidence, for it’s the Lack of Confidence that attracts the gang members’ eyes, not the Humility.

When he is tempted by others to drink and drive (or climb into a car driven by an inebriated friend), may he remember the parents who carefully buckled him into his car seat and stroller, and opt to walk instead.

Guide him, protect him when walking to school, riding his bike, taking public transit, hiking, standing near camp fires, driving, hitch-hiking, kayaking, mouthing off to strangers while with his buddies, hood-surfing, skateboarding, standing up and cheering in the football stands, cutting through dark alleyways, snowboarding, going on walkabouts in the forest, dancing in mosh pits, crossing intersections while wearing headphones, intervening in schoolyard fights, sleeping in strange places. Just follow him wherever he goes, please Lord, because I cannot be everywhere he is.

Lead him away from the couch potato life and 24-hour video games, but not all the way to being an adrenaline junkie with reckless pursuits. May he seek out physical pastimes and grow to be strong and enjoy the movement and coordination of a youthful, fit body. What will he enjoy? Playing football? Soccer? Baseball? Rock-climbing? Martial arts? Ballet? May he inherit the lightning-fast Kung Fu reflexes of his mother’s father, the gymnastic agility of his father’s father, and the brute strength and street smarts of his own father. But please, I pray that he inherits the social graces of his mother.

May he recognize, nay be happy, that he is perfectly beautiful being his own person, so he need not follow fickle girls across the continents to win their affections. He need not be the charismatic Pied Piper leader, but just not a blind, lemming follower.

Grant him a rough patch during those awkward, angry teenage years. Let him climb trees and play with Matchbox cars for a long, long time. Childhood is short and fleeting, but adulthood can be drawn-out and tedious at times. And drunken bar-room fights will always be there, waiting.

O Lord, please don’t let him be bullied. Help me make him understand that my inner Momma Grizzly would burst forth and protect him at all costs, all the while encouraging him to talk to me and giving him all the strength and confidence in the world to deal with any future tormentors. And Lord help me if he turns out to be the bully. I would do everything to make him see the wrong of his ways and work tirelessly to ensure he had sympathy and empathy for others.

And when one day he turns on me and vindictively mocks me that I ‘must have my period’, please give me the strength, Lord, to NOT smack him in front of his friends. Instead I will parent the shit out of that situation so that I stay calm and authoritative and communicative. I don’t know how to do this yet, but I’m sure with Your help I will learn how.

And finally when I am an old woman but he is still a healthy, able-bodied man, help me see him through my cataract-eyes, Lord. Let me gaze upon his cinnamon curls and smiling almond eyes while he comforts me like the Robert Munsch character did for his aging mother.“My mother used to do this for me“ he will realize as he adjusts my blanket and rubs my back, coaxing me back to a gentle sleep. “My mother did this for me.” And the fond memories will wash over him and he will grow even stronger in his conflicted role of a grown-up son, because he realizes there is no love like a mother’s love and I will indeed love him forever. And he will never forget. And I will know because I will have seen it through my own eyes.

Amen.

-Rena Yung